Read this some days back and it stayed with me. This is so true in nature, and more now than ever. Now, when the entire world has been confined to four walls and has been fed the thought that they are actually helping save the world that way. It is now that we all have time to go back to our years, to look deep into selves, to explore what lies buried in past or all that was left in the middle or incomplete by us at the pretext of time. Time is all we have now, more than ever. Hence, it is now that I too have come back to this dormant space which I never wanted to leave in the first place, which I wanted to make my life and move ahead with but then again, left it at the pretext of time. Time is what I did not have back then, or so I thought.
This blog that I started 12 years back now serves as a journal and takes me back to all the thoughts I had and have evolved over time. How I find the last post (which was about 5 years back) pretty dark and negative now and acknowledge the fact that that year was the biggest trough I have seen in the three decades of my life. Time acts in strange ways to modify our feelings and evolve them into better or worse? We will see in another 12 years maybe?
Now that we are looking into the eye of a possible apocalypse, it is easy to become philosophical and ponder over the so called positives and negatives. And hence, in this time of easy pondering I think about the seven virtues and sins that are so widely known. And one thing, that I have known for ever and hence only intensified with time is that the deadly sin I possess is of 'sloth'. I am a PROCRASTINATOR. Full Stop. Now that the confession has been made, it was not much a confession at all considering the few of the fewest posts I have made over twelve years on this blog. But, and I like the sound of 'but' here, what makes it different is that with this confession I plan to go public and ensure that I fight hard against it. That the monster who has been feeding on me for years needs to go now,even though it feels like a pet dragon now. The comfort of its presence and the short term pleasures are easy giveaways but I pledge to fight it. And to add to this, I am fully aware how sluggish or pathetic this sounds, pledging and promising and to fight against self. All that makes me do is that I feel determined at this hour and wish to channelise it with the hope (and here I contradict my definition of hope that was mentioned in previous post) that this seed will bloom into something pleasant after a while. With a plethora of thoughts storming my head and with the historic time we all are into, I feel this blog finally is about to take its shape.
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