Fallout

He could feel it precisely, on his skin, between his palm and his cheek. He had unconsciously rubbed his hand over his face, two hours in front of his desktop and he didn't realise. It wasn't the work load or difficulty of the task but was the trust of his boss.
He bent a little to the left to glance at the distant window, half covered with shades, the only source of natural light in that brightly lit room. He knew what was the sensation about. No, it wasn't the wet touch, of the order the window pane might be sensing. Neither did he feel dry and blunt like every other day. It was that moisture on his skin and he could feel it penetrating deeper.
How did it get in here? It was sealed, air conditioned at 20 degrees room or rather entire floor. It had rained heavily and he didn't know for how long. It left its marks everywhere outside but how did it get on his skin. He suddenly felt his pulse rate falling. It got in through some unknown little crevices and sat right on top of his skin. That wasn't just moisture, it was damp, it was stingy. It had crept all the way inside and overpowered everything. How??!!!
He had been caught off guard and he felt naked. Nothing was safe, he wasn't safe. His own might was confronting him now.

Rebirth

They say 'Time flies', but then 'they' are 'THEY'. I feel we give it wings to fly. And I definitely did as is prevalent from my last post here, more than 2 years back. Now, that I had the urge to come here, I felt a bit uneasy with the renovated streets. Seeing my place in the same old paint, I thought of renovating it as well first but gave up. Before painting the walls, I ought to bring it to life - removing the curtains, bringing in the lights.

Earlier I wrote here the poetic and chaotic thoughts that would crop up and the same would continue. I don't expect to get many readers or critics, it was and would now be more of a record of my mental being, the refining of thoughts and development of perspective. Now that I read my old posts here, some come to me as embarrassing while some amaze me at the maturity level. Hiding them under sheets and bringing up a new blog would have been a much safe option but then that would have meant a broken link. And a I prefer life analog way not digital.

I had been thinking of coming back here from past couple of weeks and it was destined to be today. A day that marks birthday of two persons who have influenced my thoughts and refined my writing to a great extent. I owe a lot to both of them in respective fields- my masters- though neither would acknowledge that and laugh it away with humbleness or pull my leg for this write up. I had not planned the rebirth of my blog to this day, it's a beautiful coincidence and the words are flowing so swiftly today- under their stars today... Am I...!!

The two people who won't like their name being mentioned are the most intellectual minds I've met in my ironically small life. What I conclude from the them is that the simple and clear your thoughts are, the deeper you can dive into them and the more you can build up on them. One of them has extremely influenced my musical taste,  I wouldn't be wrong if I say that I have borrowed his taste for music. Having least knowledge of music, everything with good lyrics is good music for me or all that is good for ears is good music for me. And that person has literally built my music taste while the other one has added more to it in a different genre. Both are AVID readers, amazing writers- poets, storytellers, orators and a lot more (writing after so many days limits my dictionary and I feel so sorry for myself). One writes in Hindi and the other is equally affluent in English. They are my standards in this genre that as a kid I thought to be my forte and now aim to reach their mark first.

One of them reintroduced me to writing when I had lost it in 'studies' by asking me to review the works. That is when I found myself again and now that the person maintains a regular blog and unfailingly asks me to review every post, I have been ignoring it over other things. Not that I don't care about the person or am too busy with life but I just didn't do that. The same way that I didn't venture here for two years. I feel bad and even feared losing the faith of that person but intellectual people are too humble and I have been lucky with that.

The other one has been a constant guide for the past three years, literally forcing me to come back here and do the things I love. Again, no reasons why I didn't. The person has not refined my perspective but has made me more acceptable to other perspectives- it says it all I guess.
I can go on and on about them but their intellectual influence prevents me from doing that.
Hope their stars and this day would drive me to keep this place alive.



P.S. : The writer believes in third person narrative and less of first person- not much of a narcissist- and would try to keep up to that from next post.

Forbidden Land

Long shadows walked the dungeons,

Shallow voices and the silence echo,

Familiar was the rotten smell,

Nothing daunted, the thorn was plucked.

The rupture flashed the purple blood,

A gentle touch, layers moved,

Scathed, the territory of the scavenger,

Nothing daunted, light flushed the forbidden land.

MUSIC- A Puzzle

Music, its life for many and soul for some. Some crave for it, some dwell in it. It acts as a refuge for many and a breather for some. One can judge a person on the choice of his music. They say “I choose my music depending upon my mood” but isn’t it the MUSIC that sets the mood. It has the power to change your ‘mood’, to twist a frown into a smile, to bring tears to dry eyes. It can force you to tap your feet in an office room and if not tuned to the correct frequency it can make a ballroom look dull than a conference hall. What is so enchanting about it? Is it the strum of the strings or the beat of the drums? Does the magic lie in the melody of the flute or are the keystrokes at synthesizer mesmerizing? How come a person unaware of the do-re-mi of the song connects to it instantly?

Music, the amalgamation of different notes, each note carrying a different emotion with it, solves all the problems-or so do people think. Is it because of its ability to relax our minds and soothe our heart or simply because it can make one numb! The questions lie unanswered and the code is deciphered by everyone in their own likeness. Yes, the code-the code of music. Music is like a big puzzle which has its pieces spread everywhere- around the universe, and in the universe that exists within us. Every time one finds a piece that fits the puzzle, he picks it up from the outer universe to place it into the inner one. And a few are capable of placing the piece that lies within into the outer universe for others to pick it up; this is what we call production of music. ‘Production’ one calls it but honest view says that it is a part of the puzzle that the person picked up from his inner universe and placed it into the outer universe. And as there is no end to this puzzle which spreads over universe(s), the longing has no end. The more one gets the more deep he falls into it.

The different pieces one chooses for inner universe to fit the puzzle of the music reflects the personality. In simple terms, a person with taste for ‘doom metal’ is viewed as a thinker and one with a dark tone while liking for ‘pop’ projects one as fun element. But then it is not limited only to the genres, it is a puzzle- not predictable, uncertain and possessing many variables. The variables of this puzzle are what we call as ‘mood’ which inclines one towards a particular piece (of the puzzle) for some time and then strangely reverses the inclination, developing distaste for it. This puzzle isn’t bound to singers or lyrics of a particular song; they are mere pieces of this puzzle. It is a puzzle not written anywhere and without any key, one learns and decrypts the codes as he moves into it and with it, sensing it, breathing with it and growing as it unfolds itself. It has no destination and one can take it wherever he moves but in the course and with its growth, it overtakes and guides us through the meadows. How? Puzzle it is…!!!

In The Moment...

It was in that moment of extreme emotion,

those lines gushed into my mind...

It was in that moment of numbness,

I realized the intensity of emotion...

It was in that moment of darkness,

The shackles of numbness caught me...

It was in that moment of light,

The beam of darkness found me...

It was in that moment of realization,

The light seemed out of focus...

It was the moment I met you,

I understood what realization is...

Abate and Abandoned

I am neither here nor there,
But my presence can be felt everywhere.
I am around you when you need me the most,
I am beside you when you feel lost.
Ever wondered why I am so...
It's because I am a lonely soul.
I've given you all that I had,
And I'll be sheltering you wherever I can.
Relations demand selfless giving, that's what they say...
But I'm a human, I too long for your little attention and care...

CALMNESS OF THE BLAZING FIRE

I see the sky sob as rain,
Every drop eloping my tears in its embrace,
Anguish flows out in streams,
But the fire within won’t recede.

I see the sun is burning hell,
Immune to it I’m into an iron cell,
Constructed by my own will, I feel like calmness in this blazing fire,
How can I burn, I’m the ash of my own pyre.

The earth is always stepped upon,
Crushed desires, failed attempts, who’s there to hear me mourn,
Dry blood, open wounds, covered again for another rampage,
Treacherous are my aspirations, dawdling will lies on crest.

I bloom up in the burning hell,
Under the rain I camouflage, adding up another layer.
Cries of agony, muffled by restless soul into a drone,
Such a heavy heart, why do they sound so hollow to my own.

More below the earth than above it,
Different shades of layers have created the crystalline mist,
I see the sea in eternal pain,
Serenity is the attire for your solace.

Crave it and burn the layers,
Waiting for your breakthrough, ash will extinguish drowning into nothingness.